The other day, kinetic.wings put up a question about what home means to us, and I've
been reflecting on it ever since. I have too many thoughts to put in this limited space, but I think it's
a beautiful question.
My own relationship with "home" is complex partly because I often feel like I have no culture. I hesitate when people ask me what my native language is, and I don't
have that intimate understanding and feel for my country that others have for theirs; especially here in Catalonia, where people have such a powerful sense of national belonging. And I think I'm
not the only Luxembourgian who experiences these or similar feelings. Growing up speaking multiple languages and being heavily influenced by multiple cultures is a blessing in many ways, but I sometimes wish I had more of a straightforward cultural identity. For example, it would be nice to say with complete confidence, "this language is mine". But I don't
really have that. I feel like there's
no language I fully master, and which expresses all aspects of me.
But I do have a physical home, and a family history rooted deeply in a particular place. And I'm
lucky, because there's
comfort in that. A lot has changed, and some of this change has been difficult to deal with. But no matter what happens, I'll
always have a loved place where every corner is loaded with memories. Being there feels like an embrace, a sigh of relief, and there are people waiting for me who know me so well that I don't
need to think about who I am or what to say when I am with them. They just understand.
what home means to me: to feel held by a place, and understood in it.
What does it mean to you?
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